doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
