how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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