OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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