I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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