you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
