fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
