are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
