I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
where are you?
Hypothermia
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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