My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
