New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Randomize
