Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
