eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
