I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize