Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
