i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Acid is not a monday night drug
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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