Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
