I have demons in me.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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