I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
