6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
