Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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