I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
