My hair reeks of homosexuality.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
