matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
