Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I stole a fireplace last night.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
