I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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