Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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