he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
