This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
