apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
