so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
My vagina is officially offended.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
