You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
