he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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