i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
never play flip cup with pint glasses
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
