I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
zippers are such a cool invention
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
