just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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