never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
being pregnant is like rehab
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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