you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
