Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
