he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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