Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize