Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
