So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
