She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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