Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
