They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
