Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Randomize
