we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
