Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
