we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
