beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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