I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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