were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
