well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
