Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
