Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
