dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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