when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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