i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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