yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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