2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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