Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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