I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
